I don't have a Twitter account.
I think Twitter is absurd. Tell me what you're doing in 160 characters or less! So people Tweet things like "I'm eating eggs for breakfast LOL", "Getting job review right now LOL, boss is all liek 'WTF'!", or "I like tomatoes". These things are not relevant to my interests. If we are having a conversation, I might engage, and say "oh, I also like tomatoes! Do you you ever try to grow them? I've tried but haven't had good luck." But I don't see Twitter as a conversation. I picture someone running in to the room after punching (YES PUNCHING) open the door, and yelling "ILIKETOMATOES" and then turning tail and running away a la Napoleon Dynamite. Which, I admit, is a fun mental image. Picture it. Fun, yes?
However...(OMG there's always a "however" with me, isn't there?!)
HOWEVER, I have come to realize, my brain works in Tweets. It will spit out some random, crazy, sentence-length nonsense, and then go about its day. I honestly don't know if it's normal to think "I should buy a drumset!" and then continue driving to work as though nothing has happened. I honestly don't.
I don't have a Twitter account with which to share my random madness, but I have a BLOG. So now, I present to you, random irrelevant thoughts I've had over the past few days and beyond.
"How did we EVER find ANYTHING without the internet and smartphones?!"
"Being a secret roller derby girl by night, HR person by day would be EPIC! MUST LEARN TO ROLLER SKATE." (YES I thought of this BEFORE the Ellen Page movie came out!)
"WHY THE #^%& IS JUSTIN BIEBER FAMOUS???!"
"Being a rock star seems like it would be kind of fun, except for the partying-all-night part. That would maybe be fun twice. I like sleeping too much."
"It's a shame the occupation: 'Fly Girl' has become obsolete. I think 2011 would benefit from such a profession."
"I once lived in a time before the internet existed, and I cannot believe there was ever a time before the internet existed."
"I'm actually surprised that Kanye West didn't declare one of his own videos "the best video of all time". How selfless. I think he's grown."