I Bought Chocolate Frosting Vodka

Look at all these posts about food - what do you say we change it up?  Here's Johnny! alcohol!  After becoming a big fan of Cupcake Vineyards (must be 21 to enter their site), I became obsessed with tracking down some of their Cupcake Vodka (you still 21? Good).  After a bit of research and a bit of dumb luck I found it, and while trying to Google cocktails while in Bevmo on my ridiculously ancient phone, I just bought a bottle of Devil's Food and figured I would get creative at home.

As luck would have it, I had just recently bought 3 pints of strawberries at a farmer's market, and de-topped and frozen 2 of them.

I tried the vodka (it's like liquid frosting, no lie), and let it chill in the freezer while I attempted to find my blender.  Remember how I told you about my Crockpot being banished to the deepest, darkest corner of my under-the-counter storage?  Well, the only thing behind it was the blender.  I just don't blend things!  I drink margaritas on the rocks!  I buy creamy soups in cans!  I don't know what else you do with a blender!

So I got out the blender.  It was so far back there, it would have been easier to just have Narnia mail it to me.

I told my husband "try this vodka, and we have frozen strawberries! and I'm going to throw some stuff in the blender and it'll kinda be like chocolate-strawberry daiquiris, but maybe not, because I think daiquiris are a tequila based drink?  Whatever, it has chocolate AND strawberries."

To which he replied "...we have a blender?"  I declared "Funnay!" in my best Fozzie Bear voice and started to put things in the mysterious blending contraption.

Honestly, I had sampled quite a bit of the chocolate vodka by this point (just because I PUT it in the freezer doesn't mean it STAYED there), and the husband was being a laugh riot, so the only thing I measured was the vodka (hilariously).

4 oz vodka (this is for 2 drinks, as pictured)
1 pint frozen strawberries (I had 2 pints, and used half my strawberries)
2ish oz of agave syrup (you can also use simple syrup. I also wished I had used a bit more)
some dashes of lime juice (prevents scurvy)
a small handful of ice (I like that it breaks up the drink and introduces some water, but it's definitely not necessary with frozen strawberries)

As you can see from the photo, what resulted was not so much a drink, but a thick sorbet-like dessert that we had to eat with spoons and which was pretty tasty and refreshing.  Of course, you may find it even better if you don't have to go on a recon mission to get to your blender.

Evil Dessert

The coconut is the most evilest part.

Back to Bread - Strawberry Bread with Chocolate

Most of the time I prefer savory bread.  Something I can put egg salad or grilled cheese on, or sop up the sauce after a good plate of pasta.  And really, with those descriptions I'm being generous - tearing off a big hunk of french bread and eating it plain is oh-so-good.

But "most of the time" does not equal "all of the time", and there are times when I want my dessert in bread form.  Hey, it requires even less work than cookies!  And with the inclusion of strawberry jam, we can pretend it's healthy.  ;)


2/3 cup milk
1/4 cup water
1/4 cup strawberry jam
1 egg
2 tbsp butter, cut
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
3 cups bread flour
2 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder (I prefer Ghiradelli)
3/4 tsp salt
1 tsp active dry yeast
1/4 cup semisweet chocolate chips (more Ghiradelli!  Also, the mini ones mean the chocolate is more spread out)

This is a 1.5 pound loaf, and it's baked on the regular ol' white bread cycle.  My machine has a signal after the first mix has ended at which you add additional ingredients, this is the ideal time to add the chocolate chips as the more they get worked up, the more likely they are the become a melty mess.  Which really doesn't sound terrible.

I haven't really been patient enough to figure out what the best way to eat this is, besides just eating it straight - butter makes everything better, but it's really not necessary here.  Perhaps if you're feeling crazy, Nutella?

In parting, have a moody emo chocolatey photo:

Chocolate Moose Cookies, omnomnomnom

Last night was KNIT NIGHT!  So as I stood in the grocery store, overwhelmed and questioning what to bring, I thought "oh screw it, I'll just go home and bake cookies".  (No, it doesn't make sense to me either.)  I considered calling these "Calamity Cookies", as me trying to complete cookies in a half hour resulted in a whole lot of racket and general destruction in my kitchen, but figured that "Chocolate Moose Cookies" was more descriptive and easier to recall when you file it away, and really any thing I make could have the "calamity" modifier.  Ahem.

Note:  These do not contain moose.  They contain muesli, which I just sound like an idiot when I try to say that so we're substituting with "moose".  Try saying muesli 5 times in a row.  It doesn't even sound like a word any more, does it?!  You'll ask yourself "is muesli a delicious blend of oats, nuts, and dried fruits?  Or is it not even real??!"  Then you'll find something better to do.

OK!  It is tim to be series.  (that would make my husband laugh, but he doesn't read my blog - so that is truly a joke with no audience)



Let's preheat to 375 and get our ingredients working: 



It looks like darkness has befallen my cookie dough, LOL.



1/2 cup softened butter (that's a whole stick)

3/4 cup brown sugar

1 tsp vanilla (or 1/2 tsp of double-strength vanilla)

1 egg - removed completely from the shell (terrible Worst Cooks in America joke)

You're going to cream these things together with your mixer.  Then you'll beat in the dry ingredients:

3/4 cup whole wheat flour

1/2 tsp baking SODA

1/2 tsp salt

I mixed the dry ingredients together first and added them sloooowly so as not to create a whole wheat flour cloud in my kitchen.

Then turn off your mixer, add:

6 oz chocolate chips
1 cup muesli

It will look like there are too many "additional goods" for the dough, and that's probably true, but you can get it all in there!  Stir in until you have a nice, even mixture.  Now, put your thumb and your pointer finger together like you're making the "ok" sign - the dough that you put on the cookie sheet should be in balls about that size.  Be sure to space them well - those balls will flatten out and spread during baking.  This recipe made approximately 18 cookies so you can do 9 on a cookie sheet twice (I'm not going in to more math than that).

Get your cookies in the oven and bake for 10-13 minutes (at least be sure to check them at 10).  Remove and put on a wire rack to cool.

Wrap them in foil and rush them to Knit Night as quickly as you can, forgetting to pick up your mom in the process.

Is Marrying Bread Allowed?

This is the pretty thing that leapt forth from the machine last night.  You're probably thinking "yes, that's nice looking bread, I guess.  Would you like a high five?"  First of all, yes I WOULD like a high five thankyouverymuch, and secondly, THIS BREAD HAS NUTELLA IN IT.  If you're not familiar, Nutella is a hazelnut chocolate spread that would probably go really well with Marshmallow Fluff on a day where you want to bounce off the walls like a 5 year old.  It is candy in spread form.  You can not buy it at your natural food market, which should give you an idea of how artificially delightful it is.

So I made a little 1 pound loaf out of:

1/3 cup milk
1/6 cup water
1/6 cup Nutella
1 egg
2 cups bread flour
1.5 tbsp sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp active dry yeast

1/4 cup (or extra ;P) of toasted hazelnuts, chopped - I just stuck them in a ziplock bag and went to work with a rolling pin

This all does its thing on the white bread cycle.  My machine has a 1 pound loaf capability, but I know 1.5 and 2 pounds are much more common.  Do the math as needed but leave the measurement at 1 egg regardless, and increase the yeast by 1/4 tsp for each half a pound you're adding to the loaf.  I know 1/6 cup measuring cups don't likely exist - just fill a 1/3 cup halfway.

For the record, I DID eat a piece with more Nutella on it, and actually found it to be too sweet to be enjoyable.  Perhaps Marshmallow Fluff would have been better!